053 – Children and raising them

As parents and caregivers we are concerned about our children. We are overly worried, as to how others will perceive them and it will reflect upon us that we are not good at parenting. We also tend to inflict on our children, the values instilled in us by our parents. I am speaking from my own experience. I was not a perfect parent and I would catch myself sounding like my mum or dad.

How to separate children’s dispute

I had friends who let their kids do what they pleased. I remember my sons who are twins would fight and the only way to separate them was pouring water on them. Even that did not work. I attended a Counselling Course and after I completed it, I decided to apply what I had learnt at home. The name of The Family Counsellor was Virginia Satir and she was brilliant. I loved her book and what she wrote was perfect for raising children. She said that when they fight, you settle them on either side of you and talk to them. So when they had their argument, which progressed into a battle, I asked them to sit on either side of me. They were 8 or 9 at that time. They started fighting over me. The experiment failed and I threatened them with reporting the matter to their father. I moved away and breathed.

Experiment failed

This was a failed experiment. We have to let children be. They are not us, they are children and do not want to be disciplined all the time. Teaching them Yoga is a great way to channelize their energy. Also it must not be thrust upon them. Fun asanas like the tree, butterfly, cat, dog and lion poses are fine. There is a pranayama called Brahmari, which is wonderful for them. The ears are closed with the thumbs, inhalation through the nose, the nose is closed with the small fingers, and then a buzzing sound is expelled from clenched teeth. This chases away nightmares also. Expect children not to be perfect. They will tell lies, and be naughty. They imitate us and therefore we must live a life style which they can emulate. I have always loved being in places, near where children are playing. Their laughter and shrieks are so full of joy.

The practice of a daily sadhana enables us to be tolerant and indulgent to our offsprings. It also makes us less of a perfectionist. And I am speaking of myself. Therefore we give them space to experiment and be themselves.

Aim Hrim Klim

 

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