149 – Violence, ferocity, and repression

These are strong expressions and we would be in a state of denial if we said that we had never experienced these feelings. When we ask ourselves, “Who am I?” Do we know the answer to that question? We are aware of our individuality. Our individuality is identified with our mind, our senses and our body. We are a single entity. Therefore our anger stems from dissatisfaction, unfulfilled desires embedded in roots of attachment.

We engage in self-preservation and head into a headlong confrontation. We avoid the truth. How often have we been in a vicious argument and unthinkingly plunge deeper and deeper. Finally we are in a swamp of rage and we just want to sink on. The fight is what is making us engorged with anger and we just see red and dive deeper and deeper into it. We see ourselves as soldiers charging ahead, virtuous in the battle. But is that really so?

Get to the root source

We have forgotten what the fight was about. It is the adrenalin which is fueling us and we have lost our emotions. We are afraid that we will be exposed, so we continue unrelentlessly. We are undergoing a fierce internal struggle. Our turmoil is controlling our feelings. Unless we acknowledge this distress and get to the root source, we are controlled by our attractions and aversions, attachments and fears.

The story of the great battle described in the Devimahatmya is about the war waged within us and the demons written about are within us. Hatred, and fears which chain us and make us despise persons different to us. All together there are eight fetters and they are hatred, fear, pride of birth, pride of family, concern over appearances, secrecy, suspicion and shame. They are within all of us and they are like a mass of worms called a squirm.

Meditate on the Mother

So now how do we manage these passions. Meditate on the Mother. Ask her to move through your heart in all her glory. Concentrate on the spot of light in your heart. See it glow. It expands with your inhalation, and contracts with your exhalation. Ask her to destroy this squirm of worms. Surrender to her.: the Hidden Wisdom of the Goddess by Devadatta Kali.

Aim Hrim Klim

Photo by Sonika Agarwal on Unsplash

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