It is not easy to forgive and forget. Kshama is forgiveness and it is a very important part of our Sadhana. Take a memory of an experience, from the past. You were very hurt, angry and disturbed. Whenever you think about it, you grit your teeth and cry with frustration. How long have you been holding on to it? It is influencing your life.
I met a person with whom I became good friends. He was a gay man and he loved his partner very much. We met at an International conference on AIDS. We talked about many subjects and we came to mothers. He hated his mother. And I love my mother. Anytime the word mother came up, he would start trembling with rage. Mothers are caregivers for many of the persons living with AIDS. And one of the subjects discussed was care of the caregiver. He left the room, as he could not bear to talk about mothers. He was a closed door and he clammed up.
For many of us this also happens, and it can scar us. We who are willing can try to experiment with reliving that situation and watching it neutrally. Go through the experience and review it. You can take help from a psycho therapist, yoga teacher or counsellor. Firstly before doing this, neutralize your thoughts by practicing anuloma viloma. Visualize the breath going in and out of the left nostril, it becomes unblocked and calms the thoughts as the Ida nadi is flowing. Your para-sympathetic system is functioning. Always count, do it 54 times, counting backwards. Now visualize the breath flowing in and out through the right nostril. It becomes unblocked, the pingala nadi is flowing, and this balances your vitality. Your sympathetic system is functioning. Count 54 times backwards.
Next visualize the breath going in and out of both nostrils. Once both nostrils are unblocked, your breath is flowing through both nostrils and you have attained balance of the mind and the body. The sushumna nadi is flowing. Now you will look at the situation which has caused you such deep sorrow, or anger. Review it and let it not affect you.
Stay away from hurting or harming individuals
Remember that it has been clouding your judgement and affecting your harmony. Forgive that person, however do not allow yourself to be in a similar situation again. Both Swamiji and Swami Sivananda said that if someone is hurting or harming you, stay away from that individual. Try to forget but learn from the trauma and do not let it burden you.
Aim Hrim Klim