Dear ones, what is the definition of best friend. A best friend is always with you, for you and is there for you. There are best facebook friends known as besties and they keep changing like the colors of the chameleon. Then there are childhood best friends, one thinks of them when one is distressed or happy.

Then there are new friends, and they appear to be caring and loving and then they they change their spots. There are so many categories of best friends and sometimes one imagines one has found a soulmate. One is on the same page and speaks the same language, there are so many descriptions. “Oh! how often have I been let down,” is the refrain for many of us.

Now I want to share with you as to who is my best friend. My best friend is the pain I have constantly. It is incredible, it is closer than my dearly beloved husband. It goes to sleep with me at night and wakes up with me. It is a constant reminder to me about the fragility of my life. It tells me not to over react, not to get mad at the universe and how does this happen. When I think reactively my pain becomes worse. A neutral state is the state to be in because then whatever medicines I take, they work. I try to keep calm, be at peace, not get hurt by my loved ones and do not over react. The result is that my sadhana enables me to stay in a neutral state, which is a flimsy state but I have to remind myself. What does this mean? I have to be self-aware, detached and conscious about life and experiences. Life is not just about me; it is about us and the universe.

I know its secret

It is because of my best friend, I started working with prana and sadhanas from Tantra. They make one strong and make one realize that there is so much more to life than thinking about pain. The pain does not take the center stage. It is not disliked as it is not going anywhere and there is no point fighting it. I do my best; I take care of it and it does not dominate my thoughts and create conflict. I know its secret; it thrives best when one gets obsessed with it. And these are the fear ridden thoughts. Also, one cannot live in denial. So, practicing simple meditation sadhanas works and energizes the prana. Just doing Anuloma Viloma or Rotation of Consciousness is effective. One does not feel helpless or alone.

Today I read an article that when doctors demonstrate empathy and support towards their patients, their pain reduces. These are the results of a study, recently published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. I will not go into the details of the study, but what was found that when the doctor was present for a test, the patient felt less pain. This was detected in the brain scan. The report proved that when there was mutual trust between the patient and the physician, less pain was manifested. Also, the more positive the patient’s expectation, the better the effect of the medication.

Empathy for others

Next part to this is my understanding, having worked with persons suffering from chronic pain and in palliative care and last but not least myself, I appreciate the research. Also, there is one takeaway from it, please do not handle your pain with resentment and anger. It is a lesson in life and one has to look upon it as a springboard which enables one to have greater subjective well-being and empathy for others. Finally, just practicing breath awareness will lead one to becoming detached and compassionate.

Aim Hrim Krim